are you telling people all too much about yourself?

One of the advantages of being a deliberate creator (are you?) is that of being able to stop yourself from saying what you know isn’t going to bring you what you want. In other words, it’s the goodness of living consciously.

And if you’ve been on this deliberate thing for a while, and that you are getting better at it, you’d know that it’s not always easy.

I mean, if you grew up like me… with that itchy need to justify that, to explain this, because you want to make sure that they understand you better…

Then you know that as you broaden up your understanding that we are what we think, and that what we think is what we say, then you know that you are up for a big fight. The fight against nothing else other than yourself.

You’ve head then say,

‘Don’t complain and don’t explain.

And to be honest, there couldn’t be no more wise words than these when it comes to what we say.

Because the moment we start to complain, we simply open the book for others to read. And this isn’t just any book though, but it’s the book about ourselves. We simply tell them,

‘Here… this is who we are. Check out the table of my content, what do you think… is there anything in it? Anything I can be proud of?

When we complain we argue that we are on the right side, and that they, those other devils, are on the wrong side anyway. And as we indulge ourselves in that… before we know it, we get to the mood of trying to explain, trying to justify…

We even go an extra mile to doing it professionally. We want to make sure that no one misunderstands us. So we tell it a bit more… we find more people to tell it a bit better. We spread the vibes… but are they the vibes of progress?

Because if we aren’t spreading the vibes of progress, then we are simply spreading viruses. And the thing is, these viruses won’t hurt anyone else before they hurt ourselves. That’s for sure. And that’s why I’ve stopped to complain.

That’s why I’ve stopped to explain.

That’s why I’ve stopped the evil chatter inside me about anything that doesn’t sound like joy, like delicious cake, like…

Because there is no goodness in any of that.

As I watch people tell it all about themselves, indirectly through complaints and unnecessary explanations , I wonder whether they know what they are doing to themselves.

I asked a friend, how are you doing? And they answered,

‘Not too bad, just a bit of cold coming up and stress from work like everyone else.

Then I said, that’s alright… remember to take it easy, though.

But their faces were on something else. They think… how can they take it easy while their boss is, apparently, an arse?

Would you sit down to listen to them tell you all about their work place issues, or their family saga, or their new weird neighbour? Please don’t. Take the path of least resistance by walking away. Or even by picking up a pretend phone call (they say it didn’t ring? Tell them your phone is always on the good vibe-mode.)

The point is, there is power in silence.

There is even more power in focusing on what strengthens us, on what gives us the reason to stay alive… and complaining and explaining isn’t one of them.

So keep your cool.

Don’t be tempted to complain, to explain, to prove, to retell that unlucky story… forgetaboutit.

(Even thought on a larger picture we can never tell all too much about ourselves, because in the end, our thoughts will eventually come to reveal themselves in the form of what we end up experiencing… I still don’t see a point of explaining anything I don’t want to.)

When old friends ask you, how did you manage to solve all of your problems? (Because you used to tell them all about your problems and now you don’t…) Simply say,

Wow, that… that’s a very old and long story. Have you got time? Never mind… I’m going to summarise it, just for you. As it turned out, the universe has got my back in everything. And also, I’ve learned that whatever happens, is actually there to help me live a damn good life.

so to tell them a better story remember to:

  • compliment that person instead of complaining about them
  • write a thank you letter instead of that criticism note
  • tell a story you want to see and not the story you are tired to see or hear about
  • improve your swagger for this will help you keep your cool, and you already know that cool people don’t talk too much… they aren’t waiting for your approval, they are in love with themselves.
  • improve yourself… make conscious efforts to keep that progress momentum going
  • and if you can’t answer it, simply SMILE and get the hell out of there. It works for me.


‘Let a series of happy thoughts run through your mind. They will show on your face.’ 
~ Norman Vincent Peale