the person we settled for…

Do you remember that important question? The question that says,

‘What would you like to be when you grow up?

Do you remember what your answer was?

And if you don’t mind me asking, are you living that answer today?

Or, did you change your mind and jumped into a different dream, a different goal?

And is that dream, is that goal as big as the one you had in the first place?

Because if it isn’t, that says you settled for something less than you deserve.

In fact, we have all done that. We have all settled for something comfortable before. Something that requires less use of our talents. Something that simply puts the food on the table (or food in the fridge as George Bush once said), and nothing more.  We have all been there, and done there too.

But when the last whistle blows, what would be our excuses for settling for something less than we are capable of?

You know, time and again I meet some folks who are about to retire and see the lives they live, or rather, the lives they tolerate… and each time, I ask myself, why did they wait for so long before they chose to go for their dreams? Why did they settle for less than they can bargain for?


And when I ask them why, they tell me all sorts of reasons:

  • ‘I was raising my children

  • ‘My husband was a bread winner until he couldn’t win no more

  • ‘I thought I’d just do this part-time job for a year or so but 20+ years later, I was still grinding.

  • ‘I was treated unfairly by my boss, that’s 10 years ago… since then I’m stuck…

  • ‘My step dad killed my confidence… and so I don’t know what to do…

  • ‘I think I’m happy where I am… after all, I’m the only one in my family working full-time.

  • ‘I’m afraid of failing, so I better stay with the devil I know than…

Of course, there are lot more reasons, more excuses than that.

We put off our dreams, we postpone our goals only to later realise that we’ve missed the boat.

look within

In most of us, there is a person we’ve settled for. The person who contributes less value to the world. The person who can easily judge others and forget to judge him/herself.

At times we manage to move away from this person, but at times we stay with this person and make them our best friend.

So if you are reading this, and if you know that at the moment you have actually settled for a deal that’s not a deal at all, ask yourself these question:

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

What would you do if failure wasn’t one of the cards?

What would you do differently if you wouldn’t die of hunger?

If you were meant to succeed and succeed only, would you still do what you are doing today?

Would you still talk the same talk you talk these days?

Would you still blame others for how your life unfolds?

Or… would you do all you can to stack the cards in your favour? To do all that is necessary to set that big success momentum flow your way? 

i’m not kidding

You see, when I was little boy, I thought to drive a coach was the best thing.

So when they asked me that silly question, ‘What would you like to do when you grow up’, I thought, well, a coach driver is alight with me. The reason is, in my little world, a coach driver went places, met lots of people and always enjoyed the the world as he/she drove about. That’s what I wanted to experience.

And then it all changed to becoming an accountant. Actually, I didn’t really want to be a calculator guy, but my family thought that was the best career path ever. So to get their support, I acted as if I liked it. But it didn’t last very long. So I shifted to becoming a diplomat where I realised that at times a diplomat is a person who can’t be really true to themselves as they serve two masters – one their own country, and two the country in which they are stationed. So I ran away from that too.

Then I developed interests with writing… but what sort of writing?

I started with some lame journalism, then some cool copywriting and then…

And then I realised that there is something called life purpose. That’s when I decided to walk away from advertising and all other crap and focus on what I consider to be the only path that gives me drive, passion and magnifies my happiness. That’s, writing for personal development industry or what I call, the continuous personal improvement by sharing only the vibes of progress.

And if you ask me, my current path is way bigger compared to the one I had in the first place – coach driver.

But it has been a journey to this level. On the way, I’ve many times settled for something less than I thought I was capable of. But each time, I threw off the rugs and moved on to more, better, bigger… even though at times I was afraid, but because I want to achieve something worthwhile when the last whistle blows, then I had to make some u-turn from time to time.

I’ll continue to as long as I live because in the end, I don’t want to settle for something less than what I am capable of, than what I can reach out for, than what I am talented for…

What about you?

What’s your dream, your goal?

Are you still on it?

Or have you settled for something less than you believe you are capable of?

You don’t have to write your answer here for the world to see, but if you care for your growth, for your progress, then you know that it’s important to have that answer ready. And as you work on that, I wish you all the best.

But if you haven’t settled for anything less than you think you deserve, then never, ever allow yourself to. According to science, once we settle for something demeaning, then it’s even harder to break out of it. That’s because, as we settle for less, we not only achieve less but we also lose our confidence. And what happens after that it’s not even worth writing about… In short, the situation feeds on itself.

So, how do we move on to the next level?

How do we break the shackles of the person we settled for, and so be able to move to the person we really want to be, the person we believe we should, or even MUST be?

Well, my next post answers all that.

So for now, have a good one.


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